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a frog the size of texas

all cat stories all the time

1/10/17 02:55 pm

omg I'm in line at the post office and the woman in front of me doesn't
remember her po box number and the only clerk on the window has spent TEN
MINUTES looking for it instead of calling someone else to help or telling
the woman to come back later. This is after she's given the woman a lecture
on how she should know her number because their info isn't always updated.
Aaargh

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1/3/17 12:57 pm - I have cleaned ALL THE THINGS

Well, not "cleaned" so much as "defuckingcluttered" and not "all the things" so much as my office, the media room, and a couple of really sad corners in our master bedroom that had been piling up for a number of months.

For months I'd just been piling "things that go in my office" on the table in there, plus on the floor in front of it when the piles got so tall they were threatening the cats, and had been sick of it. December 31st, I decided that if I cleaned up all the places in the house that need cleaning, I could relax and read books without guilt until I had to go back to work on Jan 3rd.

Naturally, I then went into a 3-day-long decluttering binge and read absolutely zero books. At least the house looks the best it has since we moved in?

(I also need to declutter the hell out of my office closet and the master closet. But at least the visible parts of the house look pretty damn good.)

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1/1/17 10:22 pm - So we went to see Assassin's Creed...

I was there for kicking ass and looking good but unfortunately there was way too much ass.

Seriously, who takes a look at the Assassin's Creed video game and decides to structure a movie around THE MOST BORING PART OF THE GAME? And if I said "Assassin's Creed movie" to you, wouldn't you expect it to open with a giant set piece involving tons of action? Instead, it's like 20 minutes of poorly-lit random crap happening that's never explained very well before you even get to any Assassin/Templar fight scenes.

I highly recommend watching Velayudham, the Bollywood Tamil ripoff of Assassin's Creed. It's 2.5 hours of violence alternating with slapstick comedy and WTFery in that way that only the Indian film industries can do.

Not to mention that it far outshines the Hollywood version in one VERY IMPORTANT ASPECT:


DOUBLE AIR ASSASSINATIONS

Velayudham
Assassin's Creed (2016)
1
0



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12/24/16 10:11 pm

And for Christmas dinner my mother in law served up a spiral-cut ham, baked
beans, potato salad, deviled eggs, rolls, mini dill pickles and two kind of
mustard, along with wine, beer, milk, and water. There is a razzleberry pie
in the oven, and she may be sending my father in law out for the ice cream
they forgot to buy.

There are four of us.


(Razzleberry pie is a mixed berry pie, with raspberries, blackberries, and
something else.)

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12/24/16 07:51 pm

So far my mother in law has offered us English muffins, cereal, granola
bars, coffee, crackers, cheese, cookies, fudge, candy and cocktail shrimp
and it's not even lunchtime yet.

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12/22/16 11:43 am

A guide to giving your cats their annual performance review

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12/20/16 03:03 pm

vintage snapshots of women posing in front of Christmas trees

I just want to get drunk and gossip with this woman.

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12/19/16 03:11 pm

Hatching penguin chick!

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12/17/16 10:12 pm - Brrrrr

Blue norther coming in--in the 3 hours I've been running around for lunch
and shopping, the temp has gone down 30 degrees F. The high today was 71;
tomorrow it will be 32.

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12/8/16 09:50 am

So the calorie-tracking app Toby and I use added support to list snacks at different times of the day (before it was all just one category), and the ability to rename meals.

You all know what happened, of course. I now have breakfast, second breakfast, elevenses, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner, and supper.

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