EQUAL-OPPORTUNITY ANNOYANCE (telophase) wrote,
EQUAL-OPPORTUNITY ANNOYANCE
telophase

Insert clever title here

Murderface has been adventuring quite a bit since I last wrote up his travels. I have also been commissioning various pictures of him to liven up posts when I don’t have any other images, and one has already arrived. Woo!



When last we met, Murderface had just learned the Companions’ secret, that the inner Circle were werewolves. He was remarkably okay with that, as long as he didn’t have to make the decision to be one or not right then.

Murderface spends a lot of his life avoiding big decisions.

After he finished looting Whiterun’s crypts (see last episode), and then went to various places to sell stuff, he realized he’d forgotten that Alpha-Bob of the Companions had told him to run up to Eorlund Grey-mane at the Skyforge for another reward.

Murderface toodled off to the Skyforge, where he met Smith-Bob, who explained that he could make whatever weapon Murderface wanted, and presented him with a list that included, and I point this out very particularly, no maces. After complaining a bit to no avail, I looked up the assorted damage that one-handed weapons on the list could deal and selected a war axe as being the next best thing. Murderface was then presented with the option to ask Smith-Bob what the Companions were, and the smith got stroppy at him, saying he knew damn well who they were as he was one of them.

The war axe was kinda nice, Murderface had to admit, but he needed to enchant it and improve it to make it better than his trusty mace, and that meant going back out into the wilds of Skyrim to find some heads, bash them in, and loot them. He’d leveled up by this point, so I spent the skill point he gained on Hack and Slash, which means war axes cause additional bleeding damage. I thought Murderface would appreciate it.

Here is a portrait of Murderface, probably as he would like to be remembered. Done by Pai, who you can find at http://applePAI.deviantart.com.

Murderface McKenzie by Pai-applePAI.deviantart.com

At some point, he’d been offered a bounty to go out to Redoran’s Retreat and clear out a group of bandits. He got there with no major incidents--I’m getting somewhat better at the controls, after all--and snuck into the small set of caves. There were no traps. Murderface started to think these bandits might be amateurs. He was attacked by a dog, and felt slightly bad about killing it, then shortly ran into three bandits who were hardly any trouble at all. The bandit chief was mostly dead when she dropped to her knees and said “I yield!” but Murderface figured she was probably lying--I mean, that’s what he’d do--and as he swung the next blow, she attempted to attack him again, proving to his satisfaction that he had been right.

There was a bit of loot to be had, including a treasure map. He discovered the noisemaker alarms the bandits had set up after they were all dead, and thought the poor fools were definitely amateurs, and it was a good thing he’d put them out of their misery. And then I spent what seemed like hours running Murderface up and down the rocks there because the wiki said there was a gold ore deposit and I just could not find it. I had to get Toby in to find it for me, but eventually Murderface got himself some gold.

Back to Whiterun to run around selling and smithing and enchanting and before too long Murderface was the proud owner of a Skyforge Steel War Axe (Superior) with extra frost damage.

In town he ran into a couple of men calling themselves Alik’r who were looking for a woman, who promised to reward him if he brought them news of her, to which Murderface was basically, “Uh, yeah, whatever dudes.” He then decided to clear off a quest he’d started some time back, which required him to break into a house and get proof of where a woman’s son was. There were a few more details than that, but Murderface is not a details kind of guy.

He picked the lock on the front door of the house, they way he’d done before (this is where he met the 10-year-old boy who got him to go intimidate a girl) and let himself in, and was followed in by a guard who’d watched him do that, and arrested. He paid 15 gold to avoid jail time, was transported to the front doors of Dragonsreach, and promptly went back to the house and went in the back door this time. Murderface’s lockpicking skills have increased since the first time he went breaking and entering, and he gained entrance to the locked room easily. There was an account of where the woman’s son was, so he pocketed it and went back to her house.

The captive’s brother Avulstan was present, and after perusing the evidence, noted that his brother was locked up in a keep and guarded by thalmor--elven supremacists--and offered to go with Murderface to fight. Murderface first refused but was struck with a bit of forethought--i.e., I looked it up in the wiki and discovered there was a ton of loot available and you’d do well to have a companion to help carry it--and welcomed his help. And then failed to actually go on the quest, so Avulstan and his buddies will be waiting at that keep for a while, I am afraid.

Another quest to clear off was that Mage-Bob up at the Jarl’s keep wanted him to take some frost salts to Arcadia, the proprietor of the potion shop in town. And Murderface needed to make and sell potions to get rid of his stash of ingredients. Arcadia, when given the salts, rewarded him with several potions instead of a date, and mused that the salts would make a nice love potion and perhaps she should give one to Farengar. Hm. Let me point out that the mage’s name is actually Farengar Secret-Fire and you just KNOW he picked that when he was 16 because he thought it sounded cool and now he’s stuck with it. Neither Murderface nor I see what she sees in him, and she obviously doesn’t see Murderface’s good qualities--not that Murderface necessarily has any, but you never know--and so she gets pushed down his list of potential dates. He sadly sold her potions back to her for the cash and schlepped out of the shop.

In need of yet more money to get more stuff to do more crafting and thus stay on the giant wheel of capitalism, Murderface took another bounty from the Companions. This one was to visit a tower near the settlement of Falkreath to take care of some rogue wizards. Turns out there were only two or three of them, and neither of them got off much of a spell before the war axe took care of them.

That wouldn’t even be worth a mention, except that when Murderface looted a chest there, he encountered a strange gem. When he picked it up, a voice rang out, commanding him as the bearer of the gem to return it to the Temple of Meridia, to clean it of darkness. Meridia being one of the Daedric Princes, who are...deities, or demons, or supernatural entities of some sort. This did not phase Murderface, who assumed it was probably a hallucination, and immediately forgot about it.

I think he’s going to have a surprise when he attempts to sell the gem and finds out he can’t.

New stuff eaten this time: pine thrush egg, slaughterfish egg.

Next time! Murderface has MADE IT!

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Tags: gaming, skyrim
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