EQUAL-OPPORTUNITY ANNOYANCE (telophase) wrote,
EQUAL-OPPORTUNITY ANNOYANCE
telophase

So we went to see Assassin's Creed...

I was there for kicking ass and looking good but unfortunately there was way too much ass.

Seriously, who takes a look at the Assassin's Creed video game and decides to structure a movie around THE MOST BORING PART OF THE GAME? And if I said "Assassin's Creed movie" to you, wouldn't you expect it to open with a giant set piece involving tons of action? Instead, it's like 20 minutes of poorly-lit random crap happening that's never explained very well before you even get to any Assassin/Templar fight scenes.

I highly recommend watching Velayudham, the Bollywood Tamil ripoff of Assassin's Creed. It's 2.5 hours of violence alternating with slapstick comedy and WTFery in that way that only the Indian film industries can do.

Not to mention that it far outshines the Hollywood version in one VERY IMPORTANT ASPECT:


DOUBLE AIR ASSASSINATIONS

Velayudham
Assassin's Creed (2016)
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