mello hates you

Short films written by, directed by, and starring Isabella Rossellini. Did I mention they're all about bug sex?




When I came to work this morning I really didn't expect I'd be seeing Isabella Rossellini dressed up like a giant earthworm, simulating earthworm sex.

Judge, to contestant: "So, Casey, since you're from Texas I guess you're familiar with elk?"

OH YES, THE GREAT TEXAS ELK. I CAN'T WALK AROUND OUTSIDE WITHOUT TRIPPING OVER AN ELK. WHEN I THINK OF TEXAS GAME MEATS, I THINK OF ELK.

If you're not nice to me, I will learn to knit just to knit you this.

I want to learn to knit just to threaten people with these if they don't give me what I want.

From the DeepDiscountDVD listing of this DVD celebrating British female comedians:

* Title: FUNNY LADIES OF BRITISH COMEDY, TH
* Actor/Actress: Barrie, Chris , Briers, Richard , Cleese, John



(OK, I know that Barrie, Briers, and Cleese are likely three of many presenters/narrators on it, but I found it too ironic to pass up.)

Today we have for you the finely-tuned rhetoric of Tony Long, the copy chief at Wired, and his editorial on mp3s and comics. The mp3 part is, well, forgettable, but the comic part is where he really gets going. He's referring to Gene Luen Yang's graphic novel American Born Chinese, which has been nominated for an National Book Award in the young people's literature category:

I have not read this particular "novel" but I'm familiar with the genre so I'm going to go out on a limb here. First, I'll bet for what it is, it's pretty good. Probably damned good. But it's a comic book. And comic books should not be nominated for National Book Awards, in any category. That should be reserved for books that are, well, all words.

[...]

This is simply to say that, as literature, the comic book does not deserve equal status with real novels, or short stories. It's apples and oranges.

If you've ever tried writing a real novel, you'll know where I'm coming from. To do it, and especially to do it well enough to be nominated for this award, the American equivalent of France's Prix Goncourt or Britain's Booker Prize, is exceedingly difficult.

I'd rather like to see him (a) actually read the thing before deciding that it can't possibly be as good as a real novel, and (b) try to write one himself before assuming that writing one is harder. There's a lot of crap comics out there. There's a lot of crap novels out there. Excellence is excellence, no matter what format it's in.

I had absolutely no desire to read American Born Chinese before reading this, admittedly because I'd only vaguely ehard about it in passing and had no idea what it was about, but I've just added it to my Amazon wish list to remind myself to buy it when I get back.

I posted a comment to a report on otf_wank on Journalfen about circumcision, and the Google ad that the Gmail comment reply notification has is:

Circumcision Ringtones - latestringers.com - Send this complimentary ringtone to your cellphone.

I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW.

JAPAN YOU ARE INSANE.

ETA: fuchsoid, who really should know better, brings us this. And if you're fairly new to Camp Telophase, you really should go read badnoodles's review of The Calamari Wrestler.

Kraft Bacon Snack Bars.

Discuss.


ETA: tammylee, "It is sort of like a middle-class um.. pemmican? You got your fat, your dried meat and your um... other stuff."