The Evil Bag of Evil

I don't think I told any of you about the Evil Bag of Evil. I even posted the photo and asked y'all to remind me and nobody did! :P

Anyway. This is the Evil Bag of Evil...

This started out as an innocent bag of delicious Tex-Mex food from the Uncle Julio's restaurant, which was subsequently pressed into service as a kitten house, where Sora could lurk at all hours of the day or night, ready to pounce on any unsuspecting toy mouse that happened by. Until the day it became the Evil Bag of Evil.

You see, Sora was hanging out inside the bag one evening, occasionally sticking a paw out to remind everyone that he was there and that he would like to play. myrialux tried to oblige him by sneaking up from the side and dangling a toy mouse in front of the mouth of the bag.

This was when things went horribly, horribly wrong.

Sora, alert as ever, realized that something was sneaking up on him! at the Very Last Moment, right before myrialux dangled the mouse. Sora bolted from the bag.

It gets a little confusing at this point. My best guess is that the path in front of Sora went directly through the handle of the bag that you see above. Which is not large enough for a rather large kitten, just the rather large kitten's head. It's the only explanation I can come up with.

The upshot was that the Uncle Julio's Evil Bag of Evil took on a life of its own. Neither myrialux nor I could actually see Sora, just this mobile bag, which had upended itself to neatly cover Sora. Those of you who have cats know that this would therefore terrify an already-terrified cat even more, as he was now convinced that this innocuous-seeming bag had leapt upon him in order to devour him, so he needed to get away as fast as possible.

My apartment was, basically, a giant donut - in the center of the donut was the utility closet and, on the other side, the bathtub, so that there was a circular path from the living room, though the bedroom, into the bathroom, out the other door into the dining area (which I used as my office), and back into the living room. This was the path that the Evil Bag of Evil followed, unstopped by things like the power cord to my laptop, which went flying as the Evil Bag of Evil crossed its path.

myrialux and I sat there in amazement, he in hysterics, I in worry for both my cat and my laptop, as we heard the RUSTLERUSTLErustlerustleRUSTLERUSTLE of the bag as it lapped the apartment. When it returned to the living room, it deviated from its course a bit and took a pathway between the exercise bike and the chair.

This was fortuitous, as the Evil Bag of Evil got tangled up in the chair's reclining knob and Sora managed to free himself, whereupon he immediately ran under the couch and stayed there. Once I ascertained that both Sora and my laptop were injury-free, I was able to sit back and laugh along with myrialux.

End result: the Evil Bag of Evil stayed on the floor for a while more because I was lazy and didn't get around to throwing it away. For the duration of its existence in the apartment, Sora avoided that entire quadrant of the living room, as he could never be sure that the Evil Bag of Evil wasn't going to attempt to devour him again. It was eventually press-ganged into serving as a portable receptacle for my snotty Kleenex during my recent cold, and Sora lost most of his fear of once it was sitting on its bottom and full of snot. But he was never quite sure.

In the house we just moved into, we now have a cat toy I purchased after seeing how Sora liked to hang out in his carrier. It's a three-foot-long cat tunnel, made of a material that sounds like a crinkly paper bag when you move it. I should probably have thought about it before I bought the thing, as Sora refuses categorically to get into it. I wonder why?

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Tags: cat, cat stories, evil bag of evil, kitten, kittyspam
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