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a frog the size of texas

October 9th, 2009

09:20 am - For your morning shot of adrenaline...

If you are unaware of the Food Network show Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade, then, well, you should bask in your innocence and perhaps not read the rest of this.

If you're still reading this entry and don't know what it is, it's a show where the host creates a meal* using pre-made ingredients, cans, frozen foods, etc. Right now you're saying "But that's what people often do, right?" No, not in this way.

To prove this to you, I present (stolen from wordsofastory), Sandra Lee's ten worst dessert disasters. Example:
#2: Star of David Angel Food Cake

You know what they say: if your Hanukkah Meringues didn't offend the neighbors, you can always try the Star of David Angel Food Cake. You know what sucks about a bundt cake? That annoying hole! Sandra Lee fixed that problem right up...by jamming it full of marshmallows. Which are made from gelatin and not particularly kosher, a detail that wouldn't really matter much unless you were, say, making a cake for a Jewish holiday. No matter! The marshmallows are soon forgotten under a layer of Jewish blue frosting. Finally, she tops it with a Star of David made from pearls. What happens to the marshmallows when you cut into the cake? It doesn't matter, because no one will ever cut into this cake

* With, naturally, cocktails, which you suspect she was imbibing when coming up with these recipes, and a "tablescape", which basically means crap piled on the table because you didn't want to actually put serving dishes on the table or see the person sitting across from you.

Crossposted to my Dreamwidth account at http://telophase.dreamwidth.org/1614541.html. You can comment here or there.

10:47 am

Slacktivist is a Christian blogger I read because he's been reading and ridiculing the Left Behind series.

Today he turns his satirical eye onto the Conservative Bible Project, and suggests that the obvious next step is the Conservative Shakespeare Project. ("We clearly need a new folio in which, for example, the quality of mercy is strained.")

One of the commenters takes him up on it. XD
Shakespeare: This by his voice should be a Montague, Fetch me my Rapier boy.

Proposed Conservative Translation: A liberal, get my gun!

Note: Tybalt understood the importance of the 2nd Amendment before it was even written

Crossposted to my Dreamwidth account at http://telophase.dreamwidth.org/1614785.html. You can comment here or there.

01:21 pm - The Big Picture...

...celebrates fall in the Northern hemisphere.

Crossposted to my Dreamwidth account at http://telophase.dreamwidth.org/1614887.html. You can comment here or there.
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