An educated man

Last installment, Murderface was mostly dealing with vermin problems at home and losing yet another traveling companion. This time, he goes to the library!

Murderface needed money to finish his home renovation and expansion, and to furnish the place. He’d been given a quest some time previously to deliver a book to some dude at the Bard’s College outside of Solitude and due to his aversion to bards and their tendency to walk up to you with “Anyway, here’s Wonderwall” and then expect a tip, he’s put off doing that. But, hey, it’s easy money.

Just outside of Solitude he met a young boy orphan working at a farm who complained that he was tired of sleeping outside and really wanted a family to call his own. Sorry dude, all full up.

At the Bard’s College Murderface met Book-Bob and passed the book over to him, then narrowly avoided joining the Bard’s College himself by quickly backpedaling out of a conversation that was leading up to that. He then turned to poking his nose into everything he could in the building, wandering into a room lined with bookcases. As is his wont, he explored the shelves, picking up books that didn’t seem familiar and opening them up (to see if a quest or a skill upgrade would appear, really).

One of the books he ran across was A Children's Anuad, which was a book of creation myths for children. He thought that maybe Lucia and Runa would like it, so after a quick look round to see if anyone was watching, he stuffed it into his pack. Nobody called him on it, but he must have seemed suspicious because shortly thereafter a man who explained he was the youngest bard in the Bard’s College showed up, sat down in a chair in the middle of the room, and kept an eye on Murderface as he finished his inspection. Being treated as if he were a shoplifter offended Murderface enough that he picked up, skimmed, and replaced books in a slow, ostentatious manner, then stalked out of the College.

Totally the face of a literary man.

In his recent travels, Murderface had managed to collect enough bear pelts between hunting and buying them in shops to hand over to a woman mill owner he met in a pub some time back. She hated bears because they scratched up trees such that she couldn’t use them, and had requested Murderface give her ten pelts. She was asleep when he arrived, so he barged into her inn room, woke her up, and handed them over. She said “Glad to see someone can follow simple instructions!” in a high-handed manner, then added, “I have to get back to work now,” and laid back down in bed. As Murderface stood there, slightly confused between the insulting first comment and the possible invitation inherent in her second comment combined with her subsequent action, she dismissed him, assuring him that his friendship was very valuable to her.

Dammit. Friendzoned again.

A while later, on another random quest that I don’t remember because I didn’t note it down, Murderface came upon yet another woman mill owner. I don’t think he’s yet found a man mill owner. Anyway, this one had a husband who’d left and never returned, presumably because he’d run off with another woman. She told Murderface that if he ran across her husband to tell him he wasn’t welcome back. Sensing opportunity, Murderface agreed. She had a really annoying son who wanted to play hide-and-seek so Murderface assented, hoping that his mother would notice how good Murderface was with kids. He was able to find the kid easily enough, but the kid cheated when it was his turn to be It, not letting Murderface get more than a couple of feet away before crying out “I found you!” (I tried to figure out what the game wanted me to do to hide, but couldn’t, then had Murderface give up in disgust.)

Heading into the mountains on the trail of the missing husband, Murderface spotted a deer. He sank into a crouch and pulled out his bow to try to get a bit of hunting in when a female voice to his left demanded that he leave the area posthaste. Confused, he looked around and spotted a ruined building he hadn’t noticed. Two bandits were in it, shouting at him to leave. Given that he hadn’t even spotted them to start with, and annoyed that they’d made him lose his deer, he stalked over to them. They attacked. The female bandit repeatedly said “What are you going to do?”

Set you on fire and kill the shit out of you, that’s what. This was when I noticed that Murderface’s recent skill point in one-handed combat had taken effect, because when he landed a critical hit on the male bandit he got a really nice animation of spinning around and delivering an upswing that decapitated the bandit and sent his head flying. Now, that’s style. Murderface approves.

He found the woman mill owner’s husband dead in a bandit cave and returned to break the news to his widow, planning to console her as the opportunity arose. She didn’t express a need for strong, manly arms to encircle her as she cried, which was a bit of a letdown, but she did tell him to drop by and visit if he was in the neighborhood. A chance!

Aaaand then he blew it by attempting to use his pickpocketing skills to reverse pickpocket a silver ring into her inventory, because he felt sorry for her. He’d previously encountered a different group of bandits whose perception skills were so terrible that he was able to shove iron ingots into their pockets without them noticing, even while they watched him, and he got cocky. She noticed his hand in her pocket and set up enough ruckus that a guard rushed in and a bounty appeared on his head. He paid it and slunk out of the house.

Next time: Murderface accidentally falls through a trap door!

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Tags: gaming, skyrim
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